How to Build Resilience for Teenagers
Resilience is incredibly important for teenagers today. After enduring the pandemic and now the cost-of-living crisis, it is vital that you gain the resilience to bounce back from all the trials of life. We will show you how to build resilience so you can make a wonderful success in your life no matter what life throws at you.
5 Ways to Wellbeing
Do you feel your well-being has been deeply impacted in these turbulent times? Do you feel that your resilience has been shaken? The best way to build resilience is to take care of your own sense of well-being.
- Get Connected
- Keep Learning
- Be Active
- Take Notice
- Give
Build Resilience by Getting Connected
How did the pandemic affect you? For many teenagers, it was a time of great fear. You were forced to remain at home and were not allowed to go to school or see friends. This could have had a serious negative effect on your well-being because humans are social creatures. It is not healthy for someone to remain cooped up on their own for too long. Even prisoners are given social time from their cells, otherwise, they could lose their minds.
You must connect with people you know and trust. If you are left on your own for too long you can get lost in your thoughts and detach from reality. This includes spending lots of time on social media.
So make sure you connect with others. Join in the discussions during family meal times, which is one of the most important parts of the day. Perhaps you can offer to help prepare the meal one evening a week so you can engage with one of your parents. It is important to spend quality time with your family so be sure to take part in family traditions together.
If you do not have any family traditions, our post How to create Family Traditions offers some unique ideas.
If you are feeling especially lonely or low then reach out to someone you know and trust. Do not suffer alone. If you feel there is no one you can speak to there are some useful websites below that can help.
Build Resilience Through Learning
Do you find school interesting or boring? Does the idea of learning fill you with delight or dread? Well, you may be surprised to know that learning is very good for your well-being. It strengthens your brain and boosts your confidence. So when you are at school be fully engaged in the lesson. Ask your teachers lots of questions so you can fully understand the topic. Do extra reading on a subject that interests you. And once you have finished your formal education do not abandon learning. Watch documentaries, join adult classes, and listen to interesting podcasts. As you continue to learn about this wonderful world we are living in it you feel better about yourself.
Build Resilience by Being Active
Everyone knows that if you take a walk in nature you will automatically feel better. The fresh air and sunlight can help wake you up and your muscles will thank you for the exercise. There is something truly uplifting about walking amongst the trees or in big wide fields covered in cow poo. If you ever feel a little tired, or you are stuck on a problem, or you need to think of a new idea, take a walk and mull it over. You are sure to be inspired.
You can also be active socially. Join a sports club or a local running/cycling club. You will feel even more uplifted when exercising with others and this gives you another opportunity to get connected too.
Take Notice
There is an old saying:
The past can make you sad. The future can make you mad. But the present is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
The Past
Have you ever wallowed in the past recollecting your mistakes, or times when people have hurt you? That can make you bitter and angry. It certainly doesn’t help your well-being. You can get stuck in the past. You could reminisce about an event time and time again, not realising that you perceived it incorrectly in the first place. Don’t live in the past. Learn from it and let it go.
Nicola Nordeman sings a great song that explains how we should handle the past.
If you think you are stuck in the past and you are struggling to move on it is worth speaking to a therapist. There are some useful websites at the end of this post that may help you.
The Future
Are you anxious about the future? Does the news scare you? It certainly scared me during the pandemic, but I blame the film, ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ for that one. (Don’t ask). People can make themselves crazy panicking about the future. They go to clairvoyants and soothsayers to try and find out what will happen because uncertainty scares them. However, predictions of the future are so vague they are of no use to anyone.
But the same emotions that trigger fear, trigger excitement. So instead of seeing the future as a scary world full of uncertainties look at your future as an adventure to embark on. Making discoveries, meeting new friends and accomplishing brilliant things. Plan for uncertainties as much as you can, but do not fear the future, because it won’t add any more days to your life if you worry about something that might not happen. Look to the future with joyful anticipation.
If you struggle with anxiety and are prone to panic attacks, you may find our post ‘How to Avoid Panic attacks‘ helpful.
The Present
It is healthier to live in the present. To savour the moment right now. Take deep breaths and appreciate all the blessings you have in life. Treasure people who generally care for you. Pay attention to everything you are experiencing now. Listen carefully to what other people are saying to you, so you fully understand them. Meditate, if that helps you. There are some helpful meditation links at the end of this post.
Be Resilient by Giving
It is very healthy for your well-being to give. This means giving to others and to yourself. Give people your time, your talents and when you can, your financial support. When you help those in need it triggers one of your happiness hormones called Serotonin. This hormone can give you a deep sense of satisfaction when you have achieved something. You can get a wonderful feeling from giving to those in need. The memory of that feeling can last a long time, so if you feel like a failure at any point you can remember when you helped someone in need and that serotonin hormone shoots up again. It really is a wonderful confidence-boosting sensation.
For ideas on how to give this Christmas time, check out our post ‘Paying it Forward during the Holidays‘.
But don’t give your all to others so you have nothing left. That is called burn-out and that is not healthy for you. Some people give all their time and energy to others without a single break and eventually, they have no more strength or energy left to give. They can become depressed, weak and ill.
It is important to make sure you take care of yourself as well. This means taking breaks, sleeping, eating well, doing something that you enjoy, and going on holiday. You will be able to build resilience if you take care of yourself.
Don’t Take it Personally
One of the best ways to be resilient is not to be offended by others. Do not let other people’s comments or moods impact you. A bad mood can spread as fast as a cold. Have you ever witnessed someone in your life whose mood is so palpable it impacts others? If they are in a good mood, everyone is in a good mood, but if they are in a bad mood they bring the whole atmosphere down. The best way of handling such a person is always to be cheery and polite no matter how negative they are. It boils their blood. But there is nothing they can do to destroy a positive attitude.
Similarly, try to see the funny side of things. Laugh at yourself at times. We all have our idiosyncrasies. Make light of it. I am very small in height and often joke about being hobbit-sized. My height doesn’t bother me anymore and I don’t mind having a little joke about it. Don’t take things too personally or you will find it harder to bounce back.
Have a Vision
Whilst I said that you should not worry about the future, you should definitely have a vision for the future. Your vision is one of the things to help you get up each morning. You need goals to aim for. A purpose to work towards, otherwise, your life could feel meaningless. This is a driving force that will inspire you in your everyday life. But remember to measure your expectations. Make sure your dream is realistic and healthy.
Use the SMART goals measure to help you create realistic goals for yourself.
Be Optimistic
The best way of bouncing back and having resilience is to be optimistic. See the glass as half full, or better yet think about how you can fill the glass to the top. Hold on to your vision. Assess your failures and learn from them and start over again.
One of the best examples I have seen of a resilient character is Buster Moon from ‘Sing’. That koala bear doesn’t know when to give up, and even when he does give up he is easily persuaded to bounce back into business again.
You will have down times in your life. Unexpected things may happen that will set you back. There may be times when you will have to wash windscreens for a living, but stay optimistic. Seek help when you need to and you may have to readjust your vision. But stay optimistic. Nothing is final until you are dead.
Useful Websites
We hope you have found our advice useful. For more help on building resilience and improving your mental health check out the websites below.
Get self help – A comprehensive guide to mental health
Better Help – An online counselling service
Powerful Youth – SMART Goals
Young Minds – Youth Mental Health Organisation
The Worry Tree – Helping you change your thoughts
Mindful – Meditation Apps
