About Us
Howdy, and welcome to our blog for one-child families. Tamsyn and Sops are a mother and daughter team. We live in Norfolk, UK, and enjoy days out in this beautiful county. We may be a small family, but we are full of big ideas. Both of us have very active imaginations and enjoy reading, writing, and play-acting. I am a massive Disney fan, but Sops prefers Harry Potter. We love to play games and both hate housework. And above all, we love our cat, Oreo Supersonic Trifle.
Read on to find out more about us, and our mission to support one-child families.
Our Mission in Supporting One-Child Families
There are many reasons why people only have one child. It could be because of a difficult birth ending in infertility. Or it could be because the parents are older and cannot manage any more children, or maybe it’s because of financial reasons? However, it can be very upsetting when other people ask why you only have one child, especially if it is because of a sensitive issue that you don’t want to discuss.
After I had Sops I made friends with fellow new mothers. We delighted in our firstborn. However, two years down the line most of my mummy chums were on their second child. I didn’t like being pregnant and the less said about the birth the better. I was a bit of a nervous wreck by the end of it all and we couldn’t really afford another baby anyway. So we decided one was enough for us. But it was hard to see all my newfound friends having their second babies, and I just had to return to work and hand my beloved baby to the childminder.
The Positives of Having Only One Child
Having just one child has been a real joy though. I have been able to concentrate just on Sops. I have played with her and seen her grow. We have built awesome dens and even flown a magic carpet. She takes part in lots of extra curricular activities such as gymnastics. We have been on some amazing holidays that I could never have afforded with more than one child. She has had more experiences in her young life than I ever did at her age.
Plus there is no sibling rivalry. She has made some fantastic friends and we often invite them over to play with her. There are no older or younger brothers and sisters to interrupt her playtime with her friends.
The Challenges of Having Only One Child
However, having just one child comes with its own challenges. Perpetual boredom is one of them. An only child is not an island and they can only entertain themselves for so long before going semi-insane. My daughter’s imagination is second to none. Her toys are flesh and blood to her and have more soul than any toy I know.
However, it’s not long after a little solitary playtime that she requests my presence to join in the game. I am more than happy to oblige once I have washed the dishes, put the clothes away, vacuumed the floor, and filed my tax return. Admittedly, I feel constantly guilty about not playing with her, but when I do, I feel guilty about leaving the grown-up work. But I guess that’s parenting for you?
Another challenge is loneliness. As mentioned before, my daughter’s toys seem to be her primary companions. Sure her dad takes her out, as do I, but she longs for the company of other children her own age. So when we do go out, she likes to go with a friend as well.
If your child does suffer from loneliness our post My Child is Lonely – What can I do, may help you.
Also, there is the issue of social development. I am fortunate that my daughter is an extrovert and very confident in speaking to others. However, there are some skills and attitudes that I think need developing because she does not have other siblings to share things with or learn from. In addition, I fear I have somewhat spoiled my one and only, which I suppose is only natural. It has taken a considerable amount of time and effort to unspoil her.
If you are concerned your child has become a little spoiled, check out our post on How to unspoil a child.
The Solution for One Child Families
It seems the only people who understand the perils of having only one child are parents of only one child. In speaking to other parents of one-child families they have echoed similar issues. So how do we help support one-child families? Well, Sops and I have created this blog. There are posts on parenting and posts for children and now posts directed at teenagers. There is a Discord community where parents and children can discuss stuff. Lastly, there is a ‘Lifestyle’ category covering all the fun stuff for living life to the full. Also, there are competitions for you all to enter.
Vision
We hope that one day we will have built a strong international community of one-child families. This can be accomplished as you share your own experiences of being a small family on our Forum and on our Social Media Platforms, especially our Facebook Page. We hope that our posts are helpful and entertaining to you all. Please do show this blog to your children so they can contribute to it and make friends from around the world.
Please do share your comments with us. Let us know what you like about the blog and what else you would like to see in this blog.
15 Comments
Foa
Looking foward getting to know families in this community!
Tamsyn and Sops
Hi Foa, welcome to the community. Hope you enjoy the blog.
Alexandrina Mitchell
Thank you for this
speedy
What a great website 🙂 We are also (we pretty much 99% think) one and done, no regrets. I was slightly sad to read that you feel you’ve ‘spoiled’ your child though, and that you feel she may be missing out on some skills or developments due to not having a sibling? I really don’t think that not having a sibling means she is spoiled – I actually know more children with siblings who act way more spoiled and entitled than children with no siblings. Also, your darling girl will be learning all the skills she needs from her parents, grandparents, cousins, and countless friends. I’d say that this is much more broader than learning something from siblings potentially. Hey, I may be biased though! One other thing as well, if she did have a sibling then it could be that the age gap wouldn’t necessarily be smaller than 2 years, and would probably be more like 3,4 or even 5 years – I don’t think that such a young sibling could have so much influence over someones scocial skills. That’s how I look at it. My little girl is 3 and if she were to have a sibling now she would be 4 when they were born, and then what 5 or 6 until they could actually ‘play’ together in any meaningful way? All family sizes are great, don’t sweat it!
Tamsyn and Sops
Hi Speedy
Thanks for your lovely message. I am glad you like our website. There have been times that Sops has acted very spoiled, but that may have been typical of her age at the time. But slowly and surely we try to guide her to be humble and thoughtful of others. But I agree with you all family sizes are great and have their strengths and weaknesses. Welcome to the community and please do share this site with your friends.
Tamsyn and Sops
Becki Sheridan
Hi 👋, What a great blog ! We are in Suffolk so very near you. Also looking forward to getting to know others in the same situation as us xx
Tamsyn and Sops
Hi Becki
I used to live in Suffolk many years ago. I love that county, it’s so beautiful. I like visiting Woodbridge.
Sops and I are glad you like our blog. Don’t forget to sign up to the newsletter and then you will receive a Free copy of our Travel Activity Book for your child. Also, don’t forget to enter our competition. The deadline is 30th September. We are looking forward to seeing lots of lovely drawings of Ben’s Grandma.
Lastly, do send a link of this blog to all your chums. It’s super exciting building this awesome community of One Child families.
All the best
Tamsyn & Sops
Alison
Hi, I have just found this great website. We are in West Suffolk and have a 9 year old. We would love to meet up with other only children for outdoor activities, have you found any groups or ways of meeting up or matching up only children?
Tamsyn and Sops
Hi Alison, Thanks for your comment. I am looking to set up regional groups this year. I will keep you informed of my progress. Don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter for updates.
Many Thanks
Tamsyn and Sops
Claire Hewson
Hi Alison. I’ve just come across this fantastic website. I have a little boy who is 9 and we live in Suffolk, near Bury St Edmunds. Like you I wondered if any only child groups existed as I think it would be a life saver. My little boy gets quite sad because his friends have brothers and sisters and he doesn’t. If you’re interested in meeting up, please get in touch.
Claire
Tamsyn and Sops
Hi Claire
I am glad you like our site.
Sops and I are based in Norfolk and would be happy to meet up. It is my plan to set up local groups this year. In the meantime, families can communicate using Discord.
Kind Regards
Tamsyn
Sara Gabriel
Hi,
Just saw you’d sent me information about this way back on September 1st. I rarely check my FB messages, so replying late. My daughter (14), husband and I live in Morrison, CO. I’ll sign up for your newsletter. Thanks for letting me know about this. Sara
Tamsyn and Sops
Hi Sara
You are most welcome. We will shortly be sending the new Autumn Activity books to your emails and launching our next competition for children. So do check your inbox for any emails, and look in the spam/junk box in case our email lands up there. (Let’s hope not).
All the best
Tamsyn & Sops
Kristen
Hello- I was so happy to see your post in FB. I have a 5 year old girl and she wants friends to play with, but all the girls in her dance classes, school, soccer.. have siblings and it is just really hard to see my daughter sad. So, thank you for having this to feel part of a community that seems to be rare.
Kristen
Tamsyn and Sops
Hi Kristen
Thank you so much for your comment. I created this website because there are not many sites for only-child families. I have a lot of plans for developing this site and creating local groups in the future.
Feel free to sign up to our Forums and Newsletter for updated news and offers. This month we are offering a FREE copy of our Christmas Activity Book and a chance for your child to enter our Christmas Story Competition.
Welcome to the community.
All the best
Tamsyn & Sops