How to give the perfect gift using personality types

There is always one in every family. You know who I mean, the really awkward person that no one knows what to buy for Christmas. They just seem to have everything they want and they don’t really appreciate what you give them. But you feel obliged to give the perfect gift anyway to keep them happy, so what do you give these fuss pots?

Or maybe there is someone extra special in your life, and you want to give them something really special that is super personal and they will treasure forever. Like a library!

So how do you find the perfect gift for your loved ones? The answer is: you give them something to suit their personality type. Not just their interests, but speak their love language too. A golf enthusiast may not want another bucket of tees and golf balls or a humorous golf gift book to read whilst sitting on the toilet. They may want something with an extra bit of thought put in.

But Fear Not! In this guide, we will explain The Five Love Languages and how you can use them when giving the perfect gift. We will also cover a little about the Myres Briggs Personality Type Indicator and suggest some presents for certain personalities whether they are children, teenagers, or adults.

NB: Some of the links in this post are affiliated, which means Sops and I may make a small commission if you make a purchase. For more information check out our Affiliate Disclaimer.

What are the Five Love Languages?

Has anyone ever bought you a present and you have really appreciated it, but then someone pays you a compliment and you appreciated the compliment more than the gift? The first person could have been speaking their own Love Language which is “Gift-Giving“, whereas the second person may have been speaking your Love language, which is “Words of Encouragement“. Hence, the compliment had a greater impact.

Dr Gary Chapman is the author of the best-selling book, “The 5 Love Languages“. For years he has counseled couples and discovered there are 5 prime ways that people express and receive love. These are:

Acts of Service

If you are a practical person who likes to serve others, then the chances are your love language is “Acts of Service“. You like to show someone you care for them by doing something practical to help them.

This means you probably like it when someone helps you out practically too. So if someone in your family helps you in the garden or cooks dinner you really feel loved by them.

Perfect Gift Ideas for Acts of Service

If you want to give a present to someone whose love language is “Acts of Service“, here are a few ideas to try:

• Create an “Acts of Service” voucher book. Listen to the things your loved one keeps talking about that need to be done such as painting the hall or weeding the garden and add them to the vouchers. Then your loved one can use any voucher at any time for you to carry out the promise you made with the voucher.
• You can make custom-make vouchers with a free template here.
• Purchase practical presents for your loved one such as power tools or a sewing machine, so they can do the things they love to do.

Physical Touch

I think it is really obvious if a person’s love language is physical touch, they just love hugging people. A child, a very huggable friend, that awkward person in the office that loves hugging everyone no matter how uncomfortable it makes them feel. They just love physical contact. Bless them, the lockdown must have been so hard for those whose love language is “Physical Touch“.

Perfect Gift Ideas for Physical Touch

Sops’ love language is “Physical Touch” and she is like a bloomin’ limpet. If she could have her way she would be perpetually hugging me, and well that’s not practical. So if you have a limpet of a loved one and you cannot possibly hug them 24 hours a day, here are some gift ideas to help them feel loved and secure without holding onto you all the time.

Weighted blankets have become very popular recently as a means of reducing anxiety. Sops has one and says it feels as close to a human hug as it can do, and she loves the soft velvety texture. Just make sure you get the correct size and weight for your loved one. Initially, we got Sops’ one that was too heavy for her and we had to send it back and get a lighter one. You want to give your loved one a comforting gift, not crush them under the weight of it.

For a link to a children’s weighted blanket check out our post on Getting your child to sleep.

Squishmallows are all the rage right now. They are flying off the shelves. They are large squishy cushions and children absolutely love squeezing the stuffing out of them. Sops has put one on the top of her Christmas List this year. The good thing about squishmallows is they are suitable for babies too.

Spa Days If your loved one loves “Physical Touch” they probably love spa days, where they can get utterly pampered. They will love swimming and sitting in a bubbly jacuzzi. They will also adore a facial or better still, a massage. This is a great gift idea for adults.

Giving and Receiving Gifts

There are some people who feel that giving and receiving gifts is very important. They are not superficial, shallow, materialistic narcissists, as some people may think they are, it’s just that “Giving and Receiving Gifts” is their love language. If you don’t put real thought into the gift you give them they can be very hurt. Just as much as if you verbally abuse a person whose love language is “Words of Encouragement” they would be even more hurt by the harsh words.

Perfect Gift Ideas for Giving and Receiving Gifts

If you have someone in your life whose love language is “Giving and Receiving Gifts” then you have to put a bit of extra thought into what you give them. You don’t have to spend loads of money, and actually handmade gifts tend to be well received by people with this love language. It really is the thought that counts.

Here are some ideas of gifts to try:

• Personalise your gifts. Add names or photos to physical gifts. That gives it an extra personal touch. There are many specialised online stores that can personalise presents. We recommend Gettingpersonal.co.uk
• Use your talents to make a handmade gift. Think about what your loved one may love or need and make it. Perhaps you can make soap or candles, or sew something useful like an apron. The more you put your heart into your efforts the more they will appreciate it.

Quality Time

Some people just love your wonderful company. They want nothing more than you accompanying them for a walk or a cup of tea in a quaint Tea Shop. They want you to pay attention to them and they will pay attention to you. This is particularly true for children, whose love language may well be “Quality Time“.

Perfect Gift Ideas for Quality Time Gift Ideas

The great thing about giving to those whose love language is “Quality Time“, is it only costs your time. But you do need to pay them your full attention. If you are distracted by your phone or someone else they may feel quite hurt. So give your loved one your absolute full attention when you are spending “Quality Time” with them. It is a good idea to be doing something with them like a puzzle, or activity they enjoy.

Here are some ideas for gifts that will help enable “Quality Time” for all age groups:

• Buy them a jigsaw puzzle you can do together
• Play a fun 2 Player Game together
• Go out for a Day Trip with them to a place they enjoy such as the beach or a National Trust property
• Make a voucher book of “Quality Time” Vouchers they can use. The value could be in time such as 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or have specific things like, “Playing with Barbie Toys for 30 minutes”.
• Give an Experience Red Letter Day Gift Box to spend “Quality Time” with your loved one on something extra special.

Words of Affirmation

For those whose love language is “Words of Affirmation“, they just love receiving encouraging compliments. They give out compliments all the time as well, to people they know (and in my case complete strangers). I am not shy to tell a stranger I love their dress in the supermarket if I love their dress that is. Hopefully, this makes people feel happy on the inside, or maybe it is just plain weird? Let me know what you think about strangers complimenting you in the comments below.

So long as the compliment is true then share it. Don’t give false praise or it won’t have any effect, and actually, the person may be suspicious and think you are mocking them. But if you know someone who is really touched by encouraging words, then please do tell them positive things about them.

Perfect Gift Ideas for Words of Affirmation

It doesn’t take too much to give a compliment or say a nice word to someone whose love language is “Words of Affirmation“. So gift ideas are quite simple:

• Create a personalised present with a compliment for your loved one, like a mug with their name on an a message on how awesome they are.
• If they like writing or drawing buy them a note pad or drawing sketch book and then write a nice poem or message inside on why you love them and think they are awesome.
• Shower them with praise on Christmas Day, but make sure it is genuine.

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How do you know your Loved One’s Love Language?

There are two ways to find out:

1. Encourage all your loved ones to take a Love Language test here. This can be for adults, children and teenagers. It might be a fun family activity to do together and you can discuss the results afterwards.
2. Put your loved one to the test and try and guess what their love language is. You can do this semi-secretly to surpise them. We give some ideas of testing love languages in our Celebrating Mothering Sunday post.

Mix Matching Love Languages and Interests

The really cool thing about knowing your loved one’s love language is you can mix it up with their interests to make your perfect gift to them extra special. For example, if you have a loved one whose love language is “Acts of Service” and they love golf, you could offer to be their caddy for a day.

Maybe your loved one’s love language is “Quality Time” and they love Harry Potter. You could get tickets to the Warner Bros’ Harry Potter Studios and spend the day with them there.

Myres Briggs Personality Types

About 20 years ago I was first introduced to the Myres Briggs Personality Types Test and I was hooked. It made absolute sense to me. I have explored other personality testing systems, but the Myres-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) seemed the most accurate to me at the time. Some people have argued that it puts people in boxes as there are only 16 combinations, but it is just an indicator and helps people understand themselves and how they perceive the world.

It can also help people understand others who seem completely opposite to them, which can help you to give the perfect gift to someone you don’t really relate to.

In this post, I will just explain the first two types: Extrovert and Introvert to help you consider the perfect gift for your loved one. But to find out more about all 16 types check out The Myres-Briggs Foundation website.

Extroverts

An extrovert is someone who gets their energy from being with lots of other people. They can seem to be the life of the party. The person who loves to host parties. The person who will happily stay up to the early hours to watch the new year in, when many others have gone to bed.

As an extrovert myself I can feel really tired and drained when I am on my own, but if I pop out to the supermarket or to see friends I soon perk up. It’s worth knowing this if your friend is an extrovert.

Perfect Gifts for Extroverts

Introverts

If an extrovert gets their energy from being with lots of people, an introvert gains energy from being alone or with just one other person. So going out with a whole bunch of people may easily tire an introvert out. The introvert may prefer to have a night in, curled up with a nice glass of something and watching a film or playing a game with just one or two of their closest chums.

On a side note: It is absolutely fine to be an introvert. Sometimes it seems like society only values extroverts, and if you are not comfortable with being in loud crowds or standing in front of an auditorium full of people staring at you, there is something wrong with you. But there is not! We all come with our gifts and talents and diverse personalities and that is what makes the world go round. So if you are an introvert stand proud and declare it to all the world, (that is if you want to do).

Perfect Gifts for Introverts

Other Resources

We hope that you have found this post really useful. And we hope you are super inspired now to get the best presents ever for your loved ones.

I have mentioned the Five Love Languages in other posts and will probably mention them again in the future as they really are useful tools to use to help build relationships. Gary Chapman’s book is so popular it has sold over 11 million copies, so hopefully, in time we will create a new love revolution where everyone is purposely speaking everyone elses’ “love language“, and the world will be a happier place. We can only hope.

I read “The Five Love Languages” a few years ago and it has helped me to rethink how I show love to others so they know my love is genuine. My relationship with my daughter has greatly improved since reading this book. So I highly recommend it to you.

Comments

What is your Love Language? Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Do you have an awkward person in your family whom you never know what to buy for Christmas? Has this post helped you think a little deeper?

Please add your comments below. It will be great to see how many extroverts are out there and how many introverts there are.