Best Ways to Support Your Autistic Child in the UK

Autism has been around for far longer than we may realize. The popular TV series The Chosen portrays St. Matthew as autistic—a bold and insightful move that has shed light on neurodiversity in history. Many historians believe that other famous figures may also have been autistic. We’ll explore some well-known autistic individuals in another post. In this post, we will be exploring the best ways you can support your autistic child in the UK. Making sure you get the best support that is available.

Thankfully, our understanding of autism has come a long way. Today, we have better strategies and resources to support autistic children in education, at home, and in the workplace.

If you suspect your only child is autistic, fear not! In this guide, we’ll share key insights, resources, and practical tips to help you navigate diagnosis, education, and daily life with your autistic child in the UK.

Understanding Your Autistic Only Child

Autism is a neurological condition that affects how people perceive and interact with the world. According to the National Autistic Society:

“Autism influences how people experience and interact with the world. It is a lifelong neurodivergence and disability. Autistic people are different from each other, but for a diagnosis, they must share differences from non-autistic people in how they think, feel, and communicate.”

In the UK, approximately 1 in 58 children is autistic, equating to around 100,000 children. While there are no specific studies on autism prevalence among only children, many parents in The Only Child Club have shared that neurodiversity seems to be particularly common among single-child families. We plan to research this phenomenon further.

Common traits in an autistic only child

If your child is autistic, they may present these common traits:

• Avoiding eye contact
• Struggles with imaginary play
• Sensory sensitivities (e.g., to textures, sounds, or smells)
• Difficulty understanding metaphors or sarcasm
• Delayed or unusual speech patterns
• Resistance to changes in routine
• Difficulty reading social cues
• Engaging in repetitive movements (e.g., rocking, hand-flapping)
• Struggles with emotional regulation
• Hyperfocus on specific interests

Every autistic child is unique, and traits can vary widely. Some children may require additional support, while others may thrive independently with minor accommodations.

Getting an Autism Diagnosis in the UK

The Challenge of NHS Waiting Lists

Getting an autism diagnosis in the UK can be challenging due to long NHS waiting lists. Some children aren’t diagnosed until their mid-to-late teens, often after completing major exams. If you suspect your child may be autistic, start the process as early as possible.

Private Diagnosis

If you have the financial means, a private autism assessment could speed up the process. However, be cautious—some private clinics charge high fees, and not all diagnoses are recognized by schools or the NHS. Below, we’ve listed reputable private diagnostic services.

Right to Choose

A newer option within the NHS is the Right to Choose initiative, which allows families to seek assessments from approved providers outside their local NHS trust. This can significantly reduce waiting times.

👉 How to Access Right to Choose:

• Speak to your GP and request an autism referral under Right to Choose.
• You will need to complete detailed forms about your child’s behaviors and challenges.
• Your child’s school will also be required to submit supporting information.

If your GP suggests waiting to assess your child, push back! Early intervention is key, and since assessments can take months (or even years), it’s best to start sooner rather than later.

Supporting Your Autistic Only Child Education

Once your child is diagnosed with autism, you may need additional educational support. In the UK, this is often provided through an Education, Health, and Care Plan (EHCP).

What is an EHCP?

An EHCP is a legally binding document that outlines the additional support your child needs in school. This might include:
✅ A teaching assistant for extra classroom support
✅ Access to sensory-friendly learning spaces
✅ Adjusted learning strategies
✅ Support for social and emotional developmentd’s additional needs if the school cannot provide them directly.

How to Apply for an EHCP:

1. Contact your local authority to request an EHCP assessment.
2. Gather supporting evidence from your child’s school, GP, and other professionals.
3. If approved, review the draft EHCP (you’ll have 15 days to provide feedback).
4. The local authority must complete the final EHCP within 20 weeks of your request.

Even if your child doesn’t qualify for an EHCP, schools are required to make reasonable adjustments for autistic students. If you’re struggling to get the right support, consider reaching out to advocacy groups (we’ve listed some helpful organizations at the end of this post).

If your local authority puts an EHCP in place for your child, they can support your child by giving additional financial support. This support may be paid directly to you or through your child’s school or another third party. You can use these funds to help your child receive the support they need. Perhaps it can go towards private tuition, or the school can use it to pay for a TA in your child’s class.

Support at Home

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If your child is diagnosed with autism or you suspect they are autistic, here are some things you can do at home to help them:

• 🏠 Create a sensory-friendly safe space – A quiet area with soft lighting, weighted blankets, and white noise can help your child self-regulate.
• 📅 Stick to a routine – Autistic children thrive on structure. If changes are unavoidable, prepare them in advance using visual schedules.
• 🍽 Support picky eating – If your child has sensory sensitivities to food, try presenting meals in fun shapes or blending textures (e.g., making a fruit-and-spinach smoothie instead of serving leafy greens).
• 📖 Encourage interactive reading – Ask questions about the story to help your child understand emotions and social cues.
• 🎭 Adapt playtime – Focus on their interests and introduce social games gradually. Our post, How much should I play with my only child offers more tailored advice.
• 💬 Use visual aids – Mood charts can help your child recognize and communicate emotions effectively.by cutting different foods into shapes that interests them such as dinosaurs, or changing the consistency of food, e.g. making a spinach smoothie with fruit. Be sure to separate the food on the plate, ideally in different compartments.

Supporting Your Child Out and About

Things may be quite hunky dory at home with your child. You have a schedule and so they know what is happening and when. You have a lovely, calming area for them to regulate themselves if they become overstimulated. Your child is spending quality time with you and learning new skills at their own pace. But what happens when you take your child out into the big, wide world? Is it too much for them? Well, fear not! We have some solutions to help you are your child manage the big wide world together.

• 🎧 Invest in noise-canceling headphones – Public places can be loud and overstimulating. Keep a spare pair in your bag and car.
• 📍 Prepare them for new experiences – Use storyboards or social stories to explain where you’re going and what to expect.
• 🏬 Look for autism-friendly events – Many museums, cinemas, and shopping centers host quiet hours for neurodiverse individuals.
• 🌻 Consider a Sunflower Lanyard – This discreet symbol indicates a hidden disability, helping staff offer appropriate support.

Financial Support for families with an Autistic Child

Depending on your child’s needs, you may be eligible for financial assistance:

💰 Disability Living Allowance (DLA) – Helps cover extra costs for children with additional needs.

👩‍👦 Carer’s Allowance – If you provide substantial care, you may be entitled to financial support.

🏫 EHCP funding – Can be used for specialist education or therapy.

For a full benefits check, use Turn2Us, which provides an easy-to-use benefits calculator.

Advocating For Your Autistic Child

If you have a child with a disability, you need to advocate for them. And advocate hard! Sadly, in this world, the ones who shout the loudest get what they want. You cannot be meek and mild and patient when it comes to getting your child’s needs met. You have to get tough and keep nagging the authorities until you get what you need for your child. Thankfully, there are many great charities out there that will advocate for you and your child as well. There is a list of supportive organisations at the bottom of this post to help you.

Looking After Yourself as a Parent

Autistic children are a blessing and a gift. They can help us make sense of the world from a different perspective. But, it ain’t easy to raise an autistic child. You need a lot of patience and a lot of energy. So be kind to yourself. Be sure to get rest breaks. If other members of your family can take it in turns to help care for your child make the most of it. If you do not have family members nearby who can help consider using a charity such as Scope, who can supply care workers so you can have the occasional break.

Be sure to join local parental groups on online groups on Facebook who can support you.

Don’t forget to join The Only Child Club as well. You can find us on Facebook and you can sign up to our newsletter to find out what we can offer for you and your family.

Useful Websites:

National Autism Society
NHS
Action for Children
Right to Choose
Right to Choose Clinical Partners
Right to Choose Psychatrist UK
Autistic Girls Network
Applying for EHCP