Our Guide on Getting your Child to Sleep at Night

Some parents are blessed with babies who sleep through the night on day one. But many parents do not have that luxury. It can take years before your child sleeps right through the night, and that can have a huge toll on your wellbeing and relationships, as well as their own development.

You watch Supernanny and you read all the specialised psychiatry books. You threaten and you bribe, but nothing seems to work. Every single night your child cries out for you, “I want a hug! I’m thirsty! There’s a monster in my closet!”

So how do you get your child to sleep through the night? Well, the truth is there is no one simple, universal trick to use. Every child is different and so every solution is different too. What works for one parent’s child may not work for your child. But do not despair! In this post, we are going to share different techniques of getting your child to sleep at night. We will also mention some products that may help you as well.

Feel free to experiment with the techniques that we suggest and let us know the outcome in the comments below or in our Forum.

Getting Newborns to Sleep

Did you ever notice your child was more active at night during pregnancy than during the day? I swear Sops was doing somersaults in the womb, just as I was trying to get to sleep. They obviously cannot tell it is nighttime when they should be sleeping.

When you first have a baby they are still rapidly growing and developing their organs. They need feeding every few hours and this includes at night time. You just have to accept that in the beginning, you will have many waking nights. You just need to work out a system that works best for you and your partner during this time.

When Sops was first born, her dad set up the ‘Moses basket’ on a stand next to the bed. When she woke up in the night I just rolled over the bed, scooped her up, stuck her to my breast, then placed her back in the basket. I was barely awake for the whole procedure.

For those who bottle feed, there are quite a few usual gadgets to make it easier to prepare and warm up the milk during the night. Read on for more details.

Getting Babies to Sleep

In theory, when your baby is 4 months old their stomach should be developed enough for them to be full at night for at least 6 hours. This is assuming your baby weighs at least 14lbs. What bliss! By the time they are 6 months old, they should manage to sleep through 10 hours without needing any nighttime feeds. Some parents start giving their babies solid foods from five months onwards and they start to wean their baby off night-time feeds. The key to this transition is to make sure you lay your baby in their crib, Awake.

Do not nurse your child to sleep! You don’t want your baby to associate feed time and sleep time, or they will become dependent on that. Feed them an hour earlier than you want them to sleep. Then give them a bath or look at a baby book with them. Then place your baby in their crib. By all means use a dummy (pacifier) for your child to suck on, to comfort themselves to sleep.

The 1 Minute Rule Everyone naturally wakes up a few times in the night. But we have trained ourselves to drift off back to sleep without needing someone to comfort us to sleep. Babies need to learn this skill. So if your baby stirs in the night and starts to cry, wait about 1 minute to see if they settle again. If they continue to cry after that time walk into their room and just talk softly to them so they know you are present. Don’t touch them and don’t pick them up. If they are still crying then stroke their head and speak quietly to them. Put their dummy (pacifier) back in their mouth. Hopefully, this action will suffice. But if your baby continues to cry you may need to pick them up to comfort them. After all, you need to find the balance between your baby comforting themselves, but not feeling abandoned by their chief caregiver. It’s a very fine line.

What to do when your baby has colic?

Colic is the worst! Sops had it for months, I swear. Every time I fed her, I seemed to spend the rest of the evening trying to burp her. We tried baby massage. We tried over-the-counter remedies like Infacol and Gripe Water. To be honest, we started to create our own baby massage moves to get the gas out. I must confess, I thought Gripe Water seemed to work best. Which was good, as it is much cheaper than other remedies.

If your baby is struggling with colic choose just one over-the-counter remedy at a time. Try Infacol for a week or two and then test out with Gripe Water. But don’t use a mixture on the same day. Both remedies work differently and may counteract the effects of the other remedy.

If your baby’s colic gets worse, or nothing seems to help them consult your health worker or GP.

Those early few weeks can take a toll on your own wellbeing when your baby does stop crying for hours on end. Be sure to take care of yourself during these times as your nerves will be frayed. Take it in turn to care for the baby and rest. And remember this period will pass. Eventually, you’ll be able to get your child to sleep without hours of incessant crying.

Did your child suffer colic when they were a baby? What did you do to relieve them? Please let us know in the comments below.

Getting your child to sleep

We knew it was time to take down the cot bars when Sops started piling up the soft toys in her crib to climb out. We praised her for the ingenuity of it, but recognised that she had outgrown her cot and it was now time to ascend to the ‘big-girl-bed‘. Admittedly, her ‘big-girl-bed‘ was the same as her cot, but without the bars. Nevertheless it was a big step for Sops and took quite a bit of adjusting.

Sops would often tip toe into my bedroom in the early hours of the morning for a ‘huggle’. When I heard the pitter patter of her little feet as she came into my room I would say, “good morning Padfoot”, and give her a huggle, if it was time to get up.

When your toddler has matured to ‘big child’s bed’ status, you need to create a rigid bedtime routine. It needs to be the same every single night. It needs to include everything that will help them have a good full night’s sleep without any disruptions. You know your child and how they react to different stimuli and so plan a routine that will suit your child, yourself and anyone else in the household who regulary puts your child to bed.

Bedtime Routines: Things to Consider when getting your child ready to sleep

Personal Hygiene: Does your child need a bath every night? Could that be the first item on your Bedtime Routine?

Brushing Teeth: Is it a struggle to get your child to brush their teeth? Could it escalate and become a stressful situation for everyone involved? If so, perhaps it is best to brush your child’s teeth before you even start the bedtime routine, as you do not want to escalate a stressful situation. Here are some tips on making brushing teeth fun for your little one.

Avoid Bedwetting: To avoid bedwetting monitor how much your child is drinking in the daytime. Make sure they have plenty of drinks. Also, make sure they go to the toilet several times in the evening before bedtime. Use training underwear at night time, even if they have been potty trained in the daytime. Make sure they have easy access to a toilet and it is well lit.

Story Time: The best time of a bedtime routine is story time. I used to love reading stories to Sops. We would laugh at the pictures and talk about the story. We would also reflect on the day and what we had done and what we had learnt. Then I would ask her what is she going to dream about that night. That would help her think of nice pictures in her head and hopefully avoid nightmares.

The Lullaby: Do you sing a lullaby to your child at night? I have always sung an old cheesy Christian song to Sops as I tuck her into bed.

Dealing with Common Bedtime Problems

I confess I was a shocker when I was young. It would take ages for me to get to sleep, and I would constantly get up and go downstairs with some lame excuse after another. Yes, I was the child who would say, “I’m thirsty. I’m hungry. There is a monster under my bed.” But the truth was I was suffering from FOMO, i.e. Fear of Missing Out. I wanted to be part of the grown-up conversations. I wanted to play Scrabble with mum and Omi (Grandma) and drink Sherry, because that’s what grown-ups do.

(Disclaimer: I was never offered Sherry as a child, except on Christmas Eve.)

Nowadays, I totally appreciate the importance of grown-up time for parents. I also appreciate the importance of children having a really good night’s sleep. There’s nowt worse than a tired irritable child to ruin the day. So here are tips on combatting common bedtime problems and getting your child to sleep:

Scared of the dark: Get a suitable night light. One that is friendly to look at. No child wants to see an Evil Clown Night Light.

Feeling thirsty: This one is tricky. You don’t want your child to go thirsty at night, but neither do you want to fill them up with water and risk having a wet bed. So when they say they are thirsty, are they really thirsty, or are they using an excuse to get up? Try leaving a bottle with just a little water next to their bed and see if that works. At least they won’t have an excuse to get up and disturb you at night.

Monsters under the bed: If your child is genuinely afraid of monsters under their bed or in their closet be sure to talk about it with them, and watch Pixar’s Monsters Inc. You have 2 choices here: 1) Dispel the myth and check under the bed and in the cupboard with them. 2) Encourage the development of their imagination and suggest they make friends with the monster.

Our Child’s Guide on Imaginary Friends may help you: https://theonlychildclub.net/imaginary-friends/

They are not tired: In the film Mary Poppins, Jane and Michael Banks had an awesome day in a chalk picture. They were super over-excited at bedtime. Mary Poppins denies what happened (ahem, gaslighting), but she does sing them a lullaby and that seems to do the trick. If your child still seems a little over-excited and can’t sleep, just tuck them in and either read a very boring book in a monotone voice or sing a lullaby or put some relaxing music on. That tends to work well.

There is too much noise: Is your TV on too loud? My hearing is not so great, and so I tend to put on subtitles at night and have the TV sound on low. Is there too much noise happening outside? If so, try some children’s earplugs. There is a link below for suitable children’s earplugs.

Useful Bedtime Gadgets

They say there is a gadget for every problem these days. So many devices have been invented to make bedtime easier for parents. Here are a few suggestions that may help you:

(Disclaimer: These suggestions contain affiliated links. This means Sops and I may make a small commission if you purchase the items using our links. For more information please see our Affiliate Links Disclaimer.)

If you have a toddler, and they are struggling to sleep in their own bed, watch this video for more tips on how to help your toddler sleep at night.

Comments

We hope our suggestions prove useful to you. How does your child sleep at night? Do they sleep right through and you have never had a problem or do they seem to wake up every 5 minutes demanding your attention? Let us know in the comments below, or share your experiences in our Forum.