Managing your toddler at Christmas

Christmas is an exciting time of year, and no one can get excited quite like a toddler. Perhaps a little too excited at times. How do you help them regulate these big emotions to prevent a full-on meltdown on Christmas Day? Fear Not! In this post, we’ll share top tips to help manage your toddler at Christmas.

Set Realistic Expectations

Your family traditions are familiar to you. For you have been doing them every year since you were young, or since you established them in your own family. However, they are new to your child. At Christmas time, not only does your toddler have to manage their emotions, but they also need to learn new customs. They will make mistakes. They will misbehave. They may get overtired and irritable. Be sure to set realistic expectations. Let your child know what to expect in advance. Maybe demonstrate the event using your child’s toys.

Don’t force your child to do anything they are uncomfortable with or that seems to terrify them e.g. if they are scared of Santa Claus. They may be too young and may need another year or two to face their fears.

NB: If you are taking your child to a church event take some soft toys and books of the Nativity story to keep them amused during the service.

For more ideas on new Christmas traditions to introduce to your family read our post Christmas traditions for small families.

Keep Routines to Manage your Toddler at Christmas

Don’t throw all routines out just because it is Christmastime. Keep the same bedtime routines. Don’t let your toddler stay up until midnight on New Years Eve. You could wake them up just before midnight for them to experience your New Year’s Eve traditions, but send them straight to bed afterwards. Keep lunch and dinner time at the same time, if possible. Your wider family will need to make adjustments for your toddler.

Create a Calm Environment

There is so much stimulation at Christmas time: Flashing Christmas lights, noise, extra people, presents and soooo much food. It can be overwhelming to adults, let alone toddlers. Keep at least one room undecorated in the house where your child can spend time relaxing without so much festive cheer coming at them.

You may want to put ASMR sounds on a speaker in the calming room to help centre your over-stimulated child. Don’t show them a video with ASMR sounds. The blue light from the digital screen can still aggravate their senses.

Have the lights on low and just hold your child, until they have calmed down. The calming room isn’t a place to go for bad behaviour. It’s just a place to help your child calm down if they are over-excited. There needs to be a different place for the consequences of poor behaviour.

Involve them in the activities

What Christmas activities did you do with your folks? Make gingerbread cookies? Decorate the tree? Sing Carols? These activities make life worth living. Spending quality time with loved ones, participating in fun tasks and making memories is why Christmas is so awesome.

When I was young we would go out to chop a tree down on the common. Not sure if that was legal, but my dad insisted on doing it that way. I participated as a lookout. (NB, do not make your child participate in any illegal festive activities.) As a family we also gathered greenery for the wreath and other decorations.

Perhaps this year you can make tree decorations that you can put on your tree every year.

For more activity ideas on what to do in December check out our post 24 things to do in Advent.

Give Simple Gifts

Your child is no longer a baby. They have grown out of rattles and play mats, but they are not quite a fully fledged child capable of painting a great masterpiece or building an awesome Lego structure. Keep their gifts simple and few. Do not give them heaps and heaps of presents as they will get bored of unwrapping them. Just make sure you have a pair of scissors handy to help them unwrap presents and cut the toys from their vacuum-wrapped packaging.

For ideas on the best toddler gifts read our post, Best gifts for toddlers.

Keep Food Simple

Christmas is a great time to try new foods. But don’t forget taste is a sense and your toddler will already be experiencing a sensory overload with all the lights, and noises etc. They will need some familiarity during this season as well. Among new foods, be sure to give your child food that he/she is used to. You can festively present the foods, such as ham sandwiches cut into star shapes.

Be careful what foods you have on display for other family members. Toddlers can easily help themselves to foods that may cause them to choke. Also, young children are known to sip drinks that are left around the house.

Lastly, reduce sugar in your toddler’s diet. Ideally, delay your toddler from having sugar in their diet. This can be really hard to do as there is so much sugar packed into food and drink that we think may be healthy. But if your toddler has lots of sugar over Christmas, they will suffer from glucose spikes, which will impact their behaviour.

For more information about the effects of sugar on toddlers read this post from The Cleveland Clinic: How bad are sweets for your kids?

Manage Travel and Visits

Travelling with a toddler can be challenging. You will need to plan your journey carefully. You don’t want your child sleeping late in the afternoon so they won’t sleep at night. Neither do you want them to be bored and whingy for the whole journey. It’s better to travel early in the morning or during the night. My dad used to drive to my grandmother’s at night. Mum would let us go to bed and then wake us up at 9:00pm to say we were going to Omi’s for a holiday. Absolutely brilliant strategy. We would curl up in our PJs in the car and sleep for most of the journey as it was nighttime. No whinging. No asking ‘are we nearly there yet? No backseat fights. Granted, with only one child you don’t have to deal with the backseat fights.

If you have to travel during the day bring a few snacks and consider downloading a movie on your child’s tablet. You can also pack a few toys for your child to play in an activity bag.

If you are visiting friends or relatives over Christmas there is a danger your child could be scared or overwhelmed by their new surroundings. Bring some familiar toys and a favourite cuddly toy as a comfort to them. Just make sure you look after the cuddly toy as much as you look after your toddler. You don’t want Christmas ruined over a lost favourite toy.

Capture the Memories

Take lots of photos and videos. You’ll never get this time back again. Your child will treasure all those photos and videos when they are older. I regret not taking more videos of Sops when she was small. But don’t watch your Christmas celebrations through the lens of a camera all the time. Savour the time of just watching your child unwrap their presents and playing with their new toys. You can always write about their experiences in their baby book or in a journal.

Uphold Behaviour Systems

Just because it is Christmas time doesn’t mean your child is allowed to misbehave. Whatever system you have to discipline your child needs to be upheld. Make sure they understand the rules and your expectations. Follow through with consequences. Be careful when and how you reward your child so they don’t confuse receiving a treat/present for a reward, especially if they have behaved poorly. Don’t be afraid to shower your child with gifts and attention so long as they show gratitude. If you fear your child is behaving in a spoiled manner read our post on how to unspoil a child.

Take Care Of Yourself

Last, but not least, take care of yourself this Christmastide. Take it in turns with your partner when caring for your child. Don’t be the only parent having to handle every single tantrum. Don’t be the only parent putting your child to bed every single night over Christmas. Take it in turns with other members of the family. If you are staying with your parents or in-laws encourage them to put their grandchild to bed. They may love getting involved. Make sure you all have a merry time together.