Top Tips On Potty Training Your Only Child

Children learn by example. They watch their elders and imitate them. In most instances, it is easy to show a child what to do, just by demonstrating it yourself. However, unless you want your child to see you sit upon the throne you may want to take a different approach to potty training your only child.

What Age is the Best to Start Potty Training?

Children tend to start potty training from 18 months onwards. However, some children may struggle to pick it up until later. There are two golden rules regarding when to start potty training your child:

• Do it when they are ready. Don’t force them to start too early or you will be spending forever cleaning the many messes. Everyone will get frustrated with each other and your child may feel like a failure. Just offer them the potty and they will use it when they are ready.
• Make sure they are potty trained before they start school. Teachers are not nursery nurses and it is not their job to potty train your child. If your child is not able to use a potty by the time they go to Kindergarten or Reception class they are not ready for school. Give them another 6 months to a year to master the potty before they master the alphabet. This will save your child from humiliation and the school staff from a lot of grief.

Pick Potty Season Wisely

What on earth is potty season? I hear you ask. I’ll tell you what potty season is; it’s the season in which you introduce your child to the potty and we highly recommend you do it in the summer. This is why:

• You can potty train your child in the garden. Just put the potty in the garden, let your child run around and play in the nod like Adam and Eve and they can go to the potty when they need to go. If they accidentally miss the potty, well they have only made a mess on your lawn and not the carpet. This is probably the most natural way to potty train your child.
• You can potty train your child in the park. Just put pull-ups on your child and then let them run around in the park. If they start doing the wee-wee dance pop the potty behind a tree and let them do their business.

If you cannot potty train your child in the summer and have to do it during another season then just put the potty in the room with the toilet so your child can identify that is the space where he or she needs to relieve themselves.

Funny story: For a while, we put the cat litter tray in the downstairs toilet. Sometimes he did his business whilst I was doing mine. It was rather amusing. Not sure whether it is wise to put your child’s potty near the cat litter box. You don’t want to confuse your child so they think they can use the cat litter box.

Should I Use Pull Ups?

(Disclaimer: Many of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means Sops and I may make a small commission if you use the links. For more information check out our Affiliation Disclaimer here)

Pull-ups have their advantages. They are a good step between nappies and cloth underwear. They can catch any little accidents. But your child should be able to pull them up and down by themselves. Some makes are easier for children to use than others.

The drawback of using pull-ups is that they are not good for the environment, because they are disposable. They can create a lot of waste.

Also, it may take longer for your child to master potty training when using pull-ups. If they keep having little accidents in their pull-ups but cannot feel the wetness they won’t know they have had a little accident. The advantage of putting your child straight into cloth underwear is that can immediately feel that they have had an accident. Sure, you will have to change their underwear often, but it’s nothing that a washing machine can’t clean, right?

Speaking of washing machines and underwear, the happy medium between pull-ups and cloth underwear is reusable pull-ups.

Starting A Potty Training Routine

You can make things easier for yourself when you are potty training by establishing a potty training routine for your child. Have you ever gone on a long trip and your child says they need a wee five minutes after you leave home? And you said, “Why didn’t you go before we left?” and they said, “I didn’t need to go then.” How frustrating is that? But did you know it takes between 5-15 minutes after a toddler has had a drink to need the toilet? You can time a routine around this by being mindful of when they drink. Young Sheldon mastered this perfectly. He even had a toilet schedule.

I am not suggesting you write a schedule on when your child should use their potty. But just be aware that when they drink they will need to use the toilet about 5-15 minutes later. This means if you don’t want them to go for a while, don’t give them anything to drink e.g. before a long road trip. If they have a drink during a pit stop break just remember to make them use the potty c. 15 minutes after they have had a drink before putting them in the car.

Should I Use A Reward Chart?

Let me tell you a highly personal story. When I was little I was raised in a large family. I had lots of brothers and sisters and life was pretty stressed and chaotic at times. I found it hard to remain dry at night. My parents tried all sorts of ways to help me stay dry at night including a reward chart, but it didn’t work. The reason was that I had no idea when I needed to go at night because I was asleep. If my parents had helped me deal with the stresses in my life and had made sure I did not drink at night there would not have been a problem.

Reward charts don’t work when it comes to potty training. And even if they do, they send the wrong message. Incontinence is a problem faced by adults and children alike. They can’t help it. Why reward those who can control their bladder, and not those who cannot control it? Bladder control is a biological thing. By all means praise your child when they have identified that they need to go to the toilet and use the potty, but do not reward them for it. Reward them for greater achievements that they have more control over.

Tips On Supporting Your Child During Potty Training

There are a few approaches you can take to support your child during potty training that will help them greatly.

• Be Patient – No matter how many accidents they have do not chastise them. However, if they do have lots of accidents and they are very young, they may not be ready yet and you may need to try again in a few months time.
• Offer Praise – You are allowed to be a little OTT when praising your child for using the potty correctly. Really install in their minds what you want them to do with plenty of praise. This will motivate them to make a habit of using the potty regularly.
• Don’t make a fuss – If your child does have an accident don’t make a fuss. Just clean it up and say ‘no harm done,’ or ‘that’s okay’. Don’t give them any hang-ups if they have an accident and don’t embarrass them. Children, even toddlers can pick up feelings of shame and embarrassment from parents and it can affect them negatively.
• Be approachable – Make sure your child knows they can ask for your help and tell you if they have had an accident. Otherwise, they may hide it from you and that can cause problems.
• Make it fun – Children learn by play. If you make the experience fun rather than a chore everyone can have a laugh about it. Use dolls to demonstrate potty training with your child, or even a painted dot in the potty for boys to aim at. I used to joke with Sops, because she would do the wee-wee dance, but still refuse to go to the toilet when it was clear she was desperate. We just did the wee-wee dance together until we reached the toilet. It was a laugh. Perhaps I made her laugh too much and she would wet herself before we reached the toilet, but hey ho, that’s the human body for you.
• Be prepared – Take a plethora of wipes, clean underwear and clothes with you, and even a portable potty. Make sure you have loads of carpet cleaner in your house. Everyone has had to go through the potty training stage in their life and will understand what you are going through. Don’t restrict your child’s activities during this time, just be prepared for every eventuality.

Potty Training Girls vs Boys

Girls and boys pee differently. We all know this. I had a daughter so I only really know how to advise potty training a girl. I let her watch me when she was really little and I demonstrated how to do it using her dolls. However, I haven’t the foggiest clue how to train a boy for potty training so here is a link to someone who does know what to do: How to potty train boys: A step by step guide with tips | Toddler | Mother & Baby (motherandbaby.com)

Night Time Toilet Training

So your child has mastered going to the toilet during the day, but at night time it is a whole different adventure. They may not be able to feel that they need to pee in their sleep, and can easily wet the bed. Or if they do feel they need the toilet, they have to wake you up to let you know they have to pee. Or they have to make it to the toilet alone in the dark and risk being attacked by the monsters under the bed. The whole affair of needing the toilet at night is perilous for a toddler. But Fear Not! We have a few top tips on helping your child go to the toilet at night.

• Make sure their bladder is emptied before bedtime: As mentioned before, it takes c. 5-15 minutes from drinking a drink for a toddler to need a pee. Give your child half an hour since their last drink before they go to bed, so hopefully their bladder is empty.
• Put the potty in their bedroom: Like a Victorian bedpan, they can stagger to their potty half asleep, do their business, and stagger back. No need to wake you up.
• Use a night light and plug in lights to guide their way to the toilet. This may help other members of the family reach the toilet safely too.
• Use a waterproof mattress protector to protect your child’s mattress from stains.
• Have a spare sheet to hand Keep a spare sheet close at hand, so if they do have an accident you can easily change the sheet
• Use Night Time Pull-ups To give your child an extra sense of security you can always use nighttime pull ups to help them. But ideally, they should not need these if their bladder is empty before they go to bed.

For more advice on bedtime routines our post on How to get your child to sleep may help.

Use Potty Training Books

I don’t recall using a potty training picture book for my daughter, but for some families, they can be useful. Here are some books you may find helpful:

Buying Your Child’s First Potty

Once upon a time, a potty was no more than a simple plastic bedpan. But nowadays there are a great variety of potties to choose from depending on your child’s needs. Here is a selection of potties you may want to consider as your child goes on the exciting journey from nappies to clean underwear.

Troubleshooting

Potty Training is a pretty straightforward thing to do. However, some children take a little longer to learn how to use it than others. Here are some tips if your child is having a few issues using the potty.

• Regression: Your child was doing sooo well and you praised them mightily, but now they seemed to have regressed and are soiling themselves more often. Don’t panic. Just try and see it through. Don’t put your child back in a nappy if they have regressed. Just keep reminding them to use the potty and praise them loads when they have succeeded. If there has been a big change in your situation such as moving house, this may affect them, but just keep persevering. You may need to give them a reward sticker or two if that helps.
• Fidget baby: If your child is a bit of a wiggly bum, they may need something to hold whilst sitting on the potty to keep them still such as a Tablet, or picture book.
• Learning Disabilities: If your child has learning disabilities it may take longer for them to figure out how to use the potty. You may need to start training them a little later. Use books to show them what to do. Demonstrate how it feels to need the toilet by filling a balloon with water and then letting it loose in the potty. Ask them if their body fills full like a balloon. Then when they go to the toilet and do it right, praise them. Remember, don’t send them to school until they have mastered this skill.
• Bad Behaviour: I don’t want to admit it, but toddlers can use the potty as part of their rebellious stage. They can get frustrated and throw it. They can refuse to use it. Don’t use the potty in any way as a punishment/consequence. You may think it is clear the child needs a poo and you sit them on the potty until they go, but to the child, it can seem like the ‘naughty step’. If your child is showing challenging behaviour regarding potty training try to figure out what the underlying problem is. The OT Tool Box gives some good advice on identifying underlying problems.
• Medical Problems: If your child has diarrhea, constipation, or just doesn’t seem to be weeing in either the nappy or potty you may need to see a doctor. Don’t rule out medical problems if your child is struggling to use the potty. Your family doctor will advise accordingly.

We hope you have found this post helpful. If you have any questions or issues regarding potty training do feel free to discuss it on Discord or in our Facebook group.