Preparing Your Child For Their First Residential Trip

Whether it is summer camp, a school trip, or camping with a local scouting group, at some point your child may be invited to a residential. This is when they will stay away from home with a larger group of children. Residentials are well-planned events, with an itinerary. They offer children new experiences and a chance to develop their skills. They help children grow in confidence and give them a chance to show independence.

As a raving extrovert Sops adores residentials. She loves spending quality time with her friends and away from her parents. However, as an Academic Mentor, I have met many young people who dread the thought of residentials. Some of them have never experienced a sleepover with their friends, let alone a well-organised event with a larger group of young people. In order to prepare your child for their first residential trip you may first need to convince them to go.

Start Early

I confess Sops’ father and I went on holiday when she was very young. She stayed with her Grandparents when she was 3 years old. I felt guilty about going, but we needed a break. We also wanted Sops to feel comfortable without us being there all the time. I had seen many clingy children with their mums and I didn’t want that in my daughter. I wanted her to grow up and be a strong independent woman. She managed very well during that holiday as her grandparents spoiled her.

Your child might not find the separation as easy as Sops. However, if you start early with local sleepovers your child will learn that they are safe even if you are not there. If they have cousins who live nearby then see if you can host sleepovers with the rest of the family, so all the children can get accustomed to sleeping away from home.

Besides, a few days away with some relatives could do wonders for your child’s development. For example, when I was young, I could barely speak properly. My elder brothers could interpret my babyish gabbling. However, when I stayed with an Aunt and Uncle I had to learn to speak clearly so they could understand me. Mum said when I returned I was speaking properly. It’s a miracle!

Camp in the Garden

Camping is a whole different sleeping experience. If your child has been used to staying at luxury resorts this will be a shock to their system, which is why it is worth practicing in the garden. Show your child how to put a tent up. Let them get involved by hammering in the pegs. Hang up some fairy lights and make the tent super cozy. Enjoy a BBQ as a family. Play card games, sing songs, and tell stories. Your child will treasure the special time you share together in the garden. Then, when it is bedtime sleep in the tent with your child. This way your child can experience camping with you first of all. It may be a little daunting to experience camping and being away from one’s parents all at once. This is a good stepping stone for your child to get used to sleeping in a tent, whilst spending quality time with their parents.

When your child is comfortable sleeping in the tent with you in the garden, invite their friends to join them another night. This time you can sleep in the house and let them sleep in the tent overnight. I can guarantee they will return to the house sometime during the night. But this is another stepping stone for them.

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay

Show the Itinerary

The Organisation that is running your child’s residential will provide an itinerary for the event. Have a good look at the itinerary with your child and discuss anything that concerns them. Help them feel excited about the activities. If they feel anxious or suffer panic attacks our guide on how to avoid panic attacks may help them. Children feel better when they know what to expect and can prepare themselves.

However, this is not the case for some children. If your child is neurodivergent and they are given an itinerary too early they may spend the time overthinking the residential and then pull out from going. I have seen this happen before. Only you know your child and how they are likely to react if they see a residential itinerary. Are they a planner? They may love looking at the itinerary and talking about it with their friends and making crazy plans on having midnight picnics etc. Are they a worrier? They may fret too much looking at the activities they’d be expecting to do. In that case, you may need to talk to the group leader to help alleviate their fears. You may need to try some of the activities with your child before they go, such as trying an indoor climbing wall.

Residentials give children an opportunity to build their resilience. If this is an area your child needs to improve on, our post ‘How to boost resilience for teenagers‘ may help.

Pack Smartly

The residential leader will probably give you a packing list suitable for the residential trip your child is attending. They may need a sleeping bag, or perhaps if they are staying in a hostel they won’t need to take any bedding. The most important thing is to pack smartly. Use miniatures where you can. Be sure to pack a portable charger for their phone. Don’t pack anything too heavy. Consider giving them an anti-bacterial fabric spray, so they can get away wearing the same clothes for most of the trip. Pack body wipes and possibly dry shampoo. It can be a challenge for kids to have access to showers on some residentials. As a youth leader, I have often told kids to ‘spray themselves and ‘freshen up’ towards the end of the trip.

Prepare Yourself

So your baby is off to their first residential. How do you feel? Anxious for them? Excited for them? Excited that you can have some ‘me time’? Sops’ first residential was in primary school. She was 10 years old. Because I had already let her have sleepovers with friends and let her stay with her grandparents as a toddler, I was happy for her to have a residential trip with her school. Her father and I spent quality time together. Sure, we spent most of the time talking about her, but it was enriching for both of us.

If you are a helicopter parent this opportunity will help you let go and trust your child. Try not to show too much emotion in front of your child as you send them away, but don’t be too stoic, so they think you don’t care. A quick hug and a kiss on the forehead will suffice. And for heaven’s sake never lick and handkerchief and wife your child’s face with it! (Yeah, my mum did that to me).